So! It’s that time of year again. It’s time to look back and see how the year went, and then look ahead and see how I want to feel and what I want to do in 2021.

This process took me about a week. It is entirely based on Elise Blaha Cripe’s process, which I got from her newsletters. I answered the first couple of questions by going through the photos on my phone, and through my planner, and then jotting some ideas down for #3.

Then I let a few days go by, and then I did a vision boarding exercise with a few of my closest friends. Those photos are below. And then the NEXT day I finalized the answers to #3 and then answered the questions for “what will make me feel XYZ?’ And THEN I set my goals.

I’m telling you all this to show that it’s not an instant, snap-your-fingers, one-and-done thing. I think my reflections benefit from letting them sit and simmer for days at a time. Other ideas pop up in the shower or when doing the dishes.

And when I go back to work in a few days I’m planning to do a similar but scaled-back process for my work goals.

Without further ado:

1. What did I do in 2020?

I worked at Horizon Achievement Centre full time. I shoveled snow. I celebrated Aidan turning 2. I worked a second job in retail for a few months. I got an IUD. I lived through a pandemic. I isolated for 4 weeks with a toddler. I shaved my head. I got dumped. I came out as bisexual. I had some interesting dating experiences and a Hot Girl Summer. I went to the beach a lot with my kiddo and a friend and her kids. I did eight hikes in my project to hike all 26 hikes in the Cape Breton Highlands National Park. I went to Prince Edward Island. I went to New Brunswick and did a boudoir shoot there. I started writing a novel.

2. How do I FEEL?

I feel more grounded in my truth and sexually liberated than this time last year. Angry at the systems of oppression and wanting to make a difference. Angry at climate change and wanting to make a difference. As a parent, more in a state of ease than ever before. But also feeling like the next year will have challenges that I’m apprehensive about. Really exhausted of dating and relationships/situationships, and ready to pull back energy from that. Relieved to be single and to have reserves of energy to fill back up. Happy that I had a lot of nature time this past year and wanting MORE in 2021. But also a bit exhausted, the holidays/pandemic etc.

3. How do I want to FEEL in 2021?

NOT rushing, from thing to next thing. Paced. Balanced.

Spacious.

Powerful.

Turned on.

Creative.

A better parent. (I know I’m already a good parent - I just want to be better in a few certain ways.)

Frugal.

What will help me feel BALANCED?

Being able to get to projects that have been on the back burner, like my family genealogy, and printing photobooks.

Rest and enough sleep.

Less on my phone. Reading more books. Journaling.

A LOT more uncommitted, unplanned time.

Weekly and monthly check-ins with myself for goals.

Cutting out coffee and seeing how that affects my tummy health.

Taking my blood pressure regularly again.

Organizing my space to the best of my ability.

Finishing up the gallery wall of photos.

What will help me feel SPACIOUS?

Dance, expanding my body.

Being outside in wide open spaces.

Being diligent about free time and NOT committing to too much.

Stretching.

What will help me feel POWERFUL?

Using my body to learn dance - see how it moves, see how it expresses.

Having firmer boundaries around things. Like my phone use.

Speaking truth to power.

Overhauling my website, my online presence, to reflect who I am NOW.

What will help me feel TURNED ON?

Making art.

A self-devotional pleasure practice. (Looking into the work of Ann Nguyen.)

Writing.

Wearing clothes that sensually feel good.

What will help me feel CREATIVE?

Overhauling my website.

Creating - writing my novel. Drawing classes. Dance classes.

Creating things with Aidan.

Making sure I have TIME and SUPPORT to do these things. (And then actually doing them instead of scrolling or playing a game on my phone.) (Not that there is anything wrong with those things, I think they serve a purpose at various stages in life! But right now I want to repurpose my free time.)

What will help me feel like A BETTER PARENT?

Learning about this next phase of Aidan’s life and how I can best support him, the changes he is going through.

Being more present, less on my phone.

Food - exploring different tastes with Aidan.

Being prepared for the time I have him (not overextending myself during my time without him).

What will help me feel FRUGAL?

Weekly money check-ins. (I use YNAB.)

Making more meals in advance.

A morning breakfast solution.

Changing my landline to a pay-as-you-go cell so there is still some security when Mom babysits.

So then.. thinking of alllll these things, I wanted to set just 10 goals (and ten can be a lot too, so pick your own number really) to work towards these things.
My GOALS:

Weekly and monthly check-ins to set mini goals. Will track: in my planner and journal.
Read 24 books (two a month) with intention and mindfulness (not just skimming). Will track: on Instagram and GoodReads.
Dance class - Contemporary Adult Beginner, every two weeks at Painted Dance Studio. Will track in check boxes in my planner.
Hikes - as many more as I can toward my goal. Will track: in the Google Sheet I’m already using.
Organizing the house - will break this down into mini projects. Will track: in my planner.
Overhaul my website and personal brand/online space. Deadline: Fall 2021.
Family genealogy - connect with uncle Eric and learn how to add new people to our family tree and use new program to do so. Deadline: end of January.
Parenting - Do some research into age 3 and what developmental changes lie ahead. Sign up for Encouraging Creative Kids eCourse. Deadline: end of January.
Making food - Make lunches each weekend for week ahead. Will track: in my planner.
Change landline to a pay-as-you-go phone. Deadline: end of February.

Some of these are easy goals that I’m sure I’ll get done this month and some are for the whole year. This is the point of the monthly and weekly check-ins. A span of time as big as a year is hard to plan for, as we found out this year (and each person finds out at various times of their life, in various ways, with sudden unexpected change). That’s OK. I feel like taking a best guess is really as good as we can do, and still gives me the structure and motivation I need for change.

Alright 2021 - you’re going to be an interesting year, no matter what happens. Let’s GO.