it's may 1st, and i'm checking in with myself

Checking on my goals from the start of the year (post directly below this one):

• Level up career-wise… well, I interviewed somewhere that would have been a BIG level up, back in January, but didn’t get it. (Mostly because a friend told me she thought I could do the job, which was a huge boost. Not because I want to leave where I am - I don’t.) I’ve been mulling other things in the meantime. Like, how much do I want to focus even MORE of my time on career, and how much do I actually want to focus SOME time on being a writer, like finally?!? Also, this job I’m in right now is so perfectly suited for me and my personality and my experience that it’s kind of funny. I love it so damn much, more each month. I’m looking into some Professional Development that would help me level up, in this same job. So that’s exciting!

• Do two surf lessons. I bought a surfboard, so there’s that. Lessons at Point Michaud don’t open up til July. Stay tuned.

• Do a box jump at the gym. I care less about this now than I did in January. Also because of getting braces (which I will be soon) I won’t be able to afford going to the gym as much, so this one’s status is a “we’ll see”.

• Write the first draft of my novel. This is the one - this is the one. That I want to clear other things away for.

• Pay down debt. I mean, I’m trying. It’s not going great, but I’m trying. I can’t help that I’m a Taurus and I like to indulge in fine food and wine! And that it’s late-stage capitalism and I’m a single mom!

• Lastly I want to build an arch in my garden to grow beans on! Got the mesh delivered today (pictured above) … will get my mom to help me transform this into an arch, soon. Also weeded both raised beds over the last week, and got the apple trees - just need to dig the holes.

My word of the year: Level

A circle in a roof shows the sky beyond. Saw this at Aidan’s school and loved it.

I love the whole “pick a word for the year” thing. Some years I do more with it, some years less.

(Here are the past years: 2022 - Clear, 2021 - Spacious, 2020 - Action , 2019 - True , 2018 - Grow, 2017 - Nest)

This year what jumped into my brain last night was: LEVEL. As in: level up. As in: level headed. Level best. “I’m going to level with you.” Being on the level. It’s going to be a year of putting my head down and doing the work.

2023 Goals:

• Level up career-wise. I have a few ideas for this but nothing firm yet. But my 5-10 year plan is to be in an ED position somewhere so I’m making steps toward that.

• Do two surf lessons. I’ve long wanted to surf! Only one way to do it.

• Do a box jump at the gym. So far I psych myself out, so I’m going to work on this one.

• Write the first draft of my novel. I started it in 2019, but have really gotten away from it. I want to get back to it, finish a draft and then see about an editor or an agent.

• Pay down debt. This one’s simple. Fewer indulgences, probably no trips, but paying off debt.

• Lastly I want to build an arch in my garden to grow beans on!

What are your goals for this year? Did you pick a word?

2022 Goals

Oh hey! It’s been a hot minute since I’ve showed up here.

My last post on this blog was August 13 of last year - and when I look back in my planner, only 3 days later I had an interview for a job that I would end up being offered and taking. After 7 years at the Horizon Achievement Centre working with adults with intellectual disabilities, I am now the Information Resource Specialist with the local Nova Scotia Works Employment Services Centre, only a 5 minute drive away from my home. I started that position in early September and around the same time joined the Board of Directors of ACAP Cape Breton, taking on the role of Secretary.

I also took on a Virtual Assistant client, just a few hours a month but something to try on that work, as I’ve always been curious about it.

And, I started holding monthly Climate Grief Support Circles, on zoom and in person.

Oh! And, in November I met someone and started dating them, which of course takes energy and time. Energy and time happily spent, of course! But nonetheless energy and time.

And through it all I’ve been coparenting my 3-and-a-half-year old son.

So it’s been a busy fall, haha.

Then in December the Omicron surge took off, and by the time Christmas was here I was very burnt out and tired. Not at all in the mood to set yearly goals or pick a word of the year, as I normally do.

So I gave myself grace. And space, and time.

I wrote in my journal, I mulled. While doing dishes, while doing laundry, while walking the icy snowy rainy sidewalks.

And today, I’m ready, ready to state for myself, ready to share.

I feel as though I have other goals within my relationship with my son, within my new romantic relationship, and so on, but they are personal and not something I want to share. But what I do want to share are the following:

My word this year is CLEAR. As in, get clear. Clear out. Clear energy, given and received. Clear water. And probably lots lots more I haven’t touched on yet.

AND, this year I’m aiming to:

1. deepen and sharpen my intuition and spiritual connection. (This feels the scariest to admit, but also like something that’s been a long time coming, and so I’m at a “fuck it” point.) To this end I’m part of Ocean Alchemy’s Intertidal Portal, and taking in Chrissy Tolley’s Intuitive Bachelor Unpacking on Instagram. (Yes, really.)

2. finish my hikes project (6 hikes remaining: Le Chemin du Buttereau, Corney Brook, Benjie's Lake, Aspy,Branch Pond Look-off and Freshwater Lake) (Will I write more about this whole project, to hike all 26 hikes in the Cape Breton Highlands National Park? I sure would like to. Stay tuned.)

3. refresh my website/brand/vision for my creative work - this has been a loooong time coming. I don’t know exactly how it’s going to look or play out, I just know that my sense of self, how I SEE myself, has shifted a fair bit in the last year or two, but also I know I have over 10 years of online writing and community building to comb through and pull ideas and inspiration from, including the Dream Big Cape Breton blog. So. We’ll see.

4. lift heavy things again - fuck I miss weight-lifting! I’m also a creature of habit and like to hide behind a “busy” excuse. Like many of us, I suspect. But I want to be a bad-ass bitch, and I want to be healthy, and I want to feel HOT AF in my skin. The boudoir shoot addressed a part of that, but strengthening my muscles addresses another part.

5. do a family tree refresh - my grandmother Noble was a bad-ass genealogist and compiled a ton of info on our family history. Her son (my uncle) took on the role of keeper of the records. But now I want to take that on from him (he’s in his 70’s). I’ve made a Google Form to send family for their updates, now I just have to put this shit in motion.

So, yeah, that’s where I’m at! Mid-January, it’s a snowy day, I’m feeling energized, also mildly unfocused, but wanting to be (focused, that is). I’m grateful you’re reading this, I’m grateful all of this is still a thing (the internet, blogs, etc). Let’s see where this year takes us!

Goal-Setting for 2021

So! It’s that time of year again. It’s time to look back and see how the year went, and then look ahead and see how I want to feel and what I want to do in 2021.

This process took me about a week. It is entirely based on Elise Blaha Cripe’s process, which I got from her newsletters. I answered the first couple of questions by going through the photos on my phone, and through my planner, and then jotting some ideas down for #3.

Then I let a few days go by, and then I did a vision boarding exercise with a few of my closest friends. Those photos are below. And then the NEXT day I finalized the answers to #3 and then answered the questions for “what will make me feel XYZ?’ And THEN I set my goals.

I’m telling you all this to show that it’s not an instant, snap-your-fingers, one-and-done thing. I think my reflections benefit from letting them sit and simmer for days at a time. Other ideas pop up in the shower or when doing the dishes.

And when I go back to work in a few days I’m planning to do a similar but scaled-back process for my work goals.

Without further ado:

1. What did I do in 2020?

I worked at Horizon Achievement Centre full time. I shoveled snow. I celebrated Aidan turning 2. I worked a second job in retail for a few months. I got an IUD. I lived through a pandemic. I isolated for 4 weeks with a toddler. I shaved my head. I got dumped. I came out as bisexual. I had some interesting dating experiences and a Hot Girl Summer. I went to the beach a lot with my kiddo and a friend and her kids. I did eight hikes in my project to hike all 26 hikes in the Cape Breton Highlands National Park. I went to Prince Edward Island. I went to New Brunswick and did a boudoir shoot there. I started writing a novel. 

2. How do I FEEL? 

I feel more grounded in my truth and sexually liberated than this time last year. Angry at the systems of oppression and wanting to make a difference. Angry at climate change and wanting to make a difference. As a parent, more in a state of ease than ever before. But also feeling like the next year will have challenges that I’m apprehensive about. Really exhausted of dating and relationships/situationships, and ready to pull back energy from that. Relieved to be single and to have reserves of energy to fill back up. Happy that I had a lot of nature time this past year and wanting MORE in 2021. But also a bit exhausted, the holidays/pandemic etc. 

3. How do I want to FEEL in 2021? 

NOT rushing, from thing to next thing. Paced. Balanced.

Spacious. 

Powerful. 

Turned on.

Creative.

A better parent. (I know I’m already a good parent - I just want to be better in a few certain ways.)

Frugal. 

What will help me feel BALANCED?

Being able to get to projects that have been on the back burner, like my family genealogy, and printing photobooks.

Rest and enough sleep.

Less on my phone. Reading more books. Journaling.

A LOT more uncommitted, unplanned time. 

Weekly and monthly check-ins with myself for goals. 

Cutting out coffee and seeing how that affects my tummy health. 

Taking my blood pressure regularly again. 

Organizing my space to the best of my ability.

Finishing up the gallery wall of photos.

What will help me feel SPACIOUS?

Dance, expanding my body.

Being outside in wide open spaces.

Being diligent about free time and NOT committing to too much. 

Stretching.

What will help me feel POWERFUL?

Using my body to learn dance - see how it moves, see how it expresses. 

Having firmer boundaries around things. Like my phone use. 

Speaking truth to power. 

Overhauling my website, my online presence, to reflect who I am NOW. 

What will help me feel TURNED ON?

Making art. 

A self-devotional pleasure practice. (Looking into the work of Ann Nguyen.)

Writing.

Wearing clothes that sensually feel good.

What will help me feel CREATIVE?

Overhauling my website.

Creating - writing my novel. Drawing classes. Dance classes. 

Creating things with Aidan. 

Making sure I have TIME and SUPPORT to do these things. (And then actually doing them instead of scrolling or playing a game on my phone.) (Not that there is anything wrong with those things, I think they serve a purpose at various stages in life! But right now I want to repurpose my free time.)

What will help me feel like A BETTER PARENT?

Learning about this next phase of Aidan’s life and how I can best support him, the changes he is going through.

Being more present, less on my phone. 

Food - exploring different tastes with Aidan. 

Being prepared for the time I have him (not overextending myself during my time without him).

What will help me feel FRUGAL?

Weekly money check-ins. (I use YNAB.)

Making more meals in advance. 

A morning breakfast solution. 

Changing my landline to a pay-as-you-go cell so there is still some security when Mom babysits. 

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So then.. thinking of alllll these things, I wanted to set just 10 goals (and ten can be a lot too, so pick your own number really) to work towards these things.
My GOALS:

1. Weekly and monthly check-ins to set mini goals. Will track: in my planner and journal.

2. Read 24 books (two a month) with intention and mindfulness (not just skimming). Will track: on Instagram and GoodReads.

3. Dance class - Contemporary Adult Beginner, every two weeks at Painted Dance Studio. Will track in check boxes in my planner.

4. Hikes - as many more as I can toward my goal. Will track: in the Google Sheet I’m already using.

5. Organizing the house - will break this down into mini projects. Will track: in my planner.

6. Overhaul my website and personal brand/online space. Deadline: Fall 2021.

7. Family genealogy - connect with uncle Eric and learn how to add new people to our family tree and use new program to do so. Deadline: end of January.

8. Parenting - Do some research into age 3 and what developmental changes lie ahead. Sign up for Encouraging Creative Kids eCourse. Deadline: end of January.

9. Making food - Make lunches each weekend for week ahead. Will track: in my planner.

10. Change landline to a pay-as-you-go phone. Deadline: end of February.

Some of these are easy goals that I’m sure I’ll get done this month and some are for the whole year. This is the point of the monthly and weekly check-ins. A span of time as big as a year is hard to plan for, as we found out this year (and each person finds out at various times of their life, in various ways, with sudden unexpected change). That’s OK. I feel like taking a best guess is really as good as we can do, and still gives me the structure and motivation I need for change.

Alright 2021 - you’re going to be an interesting year, no matter what happens. Let’s GO.